The Mature Gay Man

Last week I posted an entry about my admiration of older black men. Since then I have received a few messages from guys my age saying they too like older men, which is cool but some of the reasons they gave kinda got under my skin. Alot of folks my age that DO like older often see them as nothing more than a novelty. Something they can say they did just for kicks. Run and tell their "gurlfriendz" they had some old man dick or ass. Often they will never be seen in public with an older man because they will be embarrassed for whatever reason. Another reason I heard is that older men know how to "take care" of younger men, take care is subtle code for "Sugar Daddy". This really set me off. As I said in my earlier entry I have NEVER been dependent on my partner for any material gain. It's actually the opposite in my situation. If I have a dollar, Larry gets 75 cents, and that's just the way it's always been with us.

The mentality of the new generation of gay men have pretty much forced mature gay men to "step they game up". Majority of the men that go to the gym now are over the age of 35. The rare occasion that I do go to a night club nowadays I see ALOT of older men, sometimes more so than guys my age. Sites such as a4a, and m4n are flooded with guys 35 and over. It makes me think what would I have to do when I am Larry's age to find companionship. It breaks my heart when I see that 50 year old man sitting at the bar in the club trying to pickup on the young twenty something guys not knowing they are laughing at his ass when he turns his back. Or when I see 50+ year old guys on a4a, or m4n resorting to showing their dick or ass to get a hit (message) from some lowlife, or they have to pay extra to get into some sex party just to be touched. This is the definition of pathetic.

I was reading the blog of one my favorite gay columnist Ramon Johnson. Below I have cut and pasted an entry he wrote about mature gay men that I found very interesting. Keep this conversation going, let me know what you think. Leave your comments.

Mature Gay Men

Older Gay Men

By Ramon Johnson, About.com

Over time, the age of desirability for gay men seems to get younger and younger. The age discrimination and lack of attention older or mature gay men receive is synonymous to the pressure some women feel to get married or have children by a certain age.

Today, gay men are coming out at younger ages. It's no longer a shock to hear of an openly gay 14-year-old or a 16-year-old in a gay relationship. Even gay bars see floods of 18-21 year old gay boys seeking love and sex from their peers, leaving older gay men on the side lines. The recent attention and broader acceptance of gay marriage has also contributed to increased pressure for gay men to find love "before it's too late" or "while they are still desirable."

Of course, this doesn't make mature gay men charity cases, it only increases the pressure as aging gay men begin to think about their futures. Some gay men also argue that other gays continue to search for the "fountain of youth" with plastic surgery, eating disorders, excessive gym hours and am obsession with body image.

According to the Affirmations Lesbian and Gay Community Center:

• Nearly 20% of gay seniors have no one to care for them should they become ill, vs. 2% for heterosexual seniors.



• 2/3 of gay seniors live alone vs. 1/3 of heterosexual seniors.

To combat these growing statistics, many gay community centers are launching programs and social groups for older gay men