Some of My Turn-Offs

* Stupid Niggas

* Ugly in physical and mental Niggas

* "Sup Nigga" Niggas

* Thug Niggas

* Broke and won't get a job Niggas

* Confused got a wife but take dick in the ass Niggas

* Lying Niggas

* Desperate Niggas

* Only want sex but claim "looking 4 friends" Niggas

* The "no fats no fems" Niggas

* The "I'm god's gift to niggas" but aint got shit Niggas

* The Niggas that use the word Nigga Niggas

I could go on literally all day but you get the point

The Big Reveal- Vol. 2: My Favorite Things

I think it is so boring when people introduce themselves in the same way and give all about themselves away in one shot. As I did with revealing my name, I will SLOWLY reveal some of my favorite things. Once again I will present it in my own unique way so that y'all won't be bored (I hope)

Today's Fave: My Favorite Cartoon

This is a list that can go on and on, and thanks to youtube I have found one that I thought I would never see again. It's called "David the Gnome" and I want y'all to enjoy this first episode.

A Symbol

A ring on your finger must be a magnet for curiosity. At least that's the case when it comes to me. Never a week goes by that I don't get asked (usually by a female) "Are you married?" My answer is usually yes, and that ends it. Sometimes the truly nosey people, church members & co-workers usually, go a step further and ask details. Things such as what's HER name, where did you meet HER, any kids, etc. I usually put them in their place and say mind yo own damn business. Sometimes tho' I must admit I like to get a rise out of people and cause controversy so I would say well my HUSBAND'S name is Larry. Jaws usually drop to the floor faster than a 100IB anvil, I love it, lol. People automatically associate a ring on the left hand with the legally binding, contractual agreement known as marriage. What our rings mean to us (The mister and I) is a symbol that we have bond that can't be broken, a love that is eternal, and that we want to express that to everyone. I would not trade the six years I have had with this man for anything in the world. Even tho' I personally feel I haven't always been the best husband, he knows he's the only one for me. He knows me better than I know myself sometimes. He is my Angel. He is my Rock. He is my All. I truly believe he saved my life, and when I slid that ring on his finger I wanted him to know that I proclaim him to be mine as I am his. Whenever I feel down, or feel upset I simply look at my left hand and the sun starts shining again. The ring for me is a symbol of joy.

The Big Reveal- Vol. 2: My Favorite Things

I think it is so boring when people introduce themselves in the same way and give all about themselves away in one shot. As I did with revealing my name, I will SLOWLY reveal some of my favorite things. Once again I will present it in my own unique way so that y'all won't be bored (I hope)

Today's Fave: My Favorite Music

I LOVE music. I remember I used to spend entire paychecks at my local record store. Now thanks to the internet those days are over. I love going on iTunes, or different blogs and yahoo groups, and myspace pages to keep up on what's new. When it comes to my favorites I am all over the place. On my Ipod I have everything from A Tribe called Quest to Mozart and everything in between. I just listen to what sounds good to me. Below is a song from a album I have on rotation at the moment. Enjoy!

Jam of the Week: Beyonce "If I Were A Boy"

The real reason Ciara's new album "Fantasy Ride" got pushed back?... She, and everyone else knows that when B comes out she simply dominates the charts. With joints like this that show a different side (a much more mature side) of her, and the fact that she continues to grow with each album if I were Ciara, or any other R&B chick for that matter I would fall back too. I love this video, and the song is awesome to. I am glad to see she is doing new forms of music on this album. I thought the last album had to many "Get Me Bodied" type tracks on it.

Her New album title "I Am...Sasha Fierce" comes out November 18th

P.S.
The brotha playing her boyfriend in the video is super fine, DAMN!

Sight

To continue my thoughts on the topic I started in my post called TASTE, I want to explore the next human sense SIGHT. What is it about seeing a big ol' black piece that gets brothas off? I'm not just talking about bottom guys either. I am talking about most if not all gay brothas. I have couple of friends who are tops (as far as I know anyway), but they are constantly looking at pictures and videos of big dick guys. I asked them if they are supposed to be tops how come they don't obsess over a nice round phat ass the same way they drool over a nice dick. Their response was the same. "I like seeing a man, and fucking a man that has a big dick." I have to admit personally I love fuckin' a guy that has a nice size piece as well. It's something empowering about making a brotha ride me while his Mandingo is bouncing up and down on my stomach, but then again I am a verse guy so I have a valid excuse why I like big ones.

I want to know why my top friends simply like "looking" at big dicks. I had one of them tell me a guy can't even come in his house unless he's 8 inches or better.... remember this is my friend who's a "TOP" saying this! This has me scratching my head. Either they are secretly bottoms or a new breed of gay called " Dick Obsessive Tops" (I made up this classification just now, lol). Another friend of mine who is a total top (whatever that means) is the kind of "true top" I think about when I define that role. He is OBSESSED with ass. He once told me the brotha can be missing his dick altogether as long as the ass is phat, firm, and can take a pounding. He is not into dick at all. I have another "top" friend that goes to strip clubs, and only gives money to the brothas with a nice dick. The phat booty brothas don't get his money which is weird to me.

So I am asking for y'all opinion. For those of you that admire the black pole. Why do you like the sight? I have been told so many damn times I have a "pretty dick", what constitutes a pretty dick? Can dick be ugly? If so someone email a picture of an ugly one, LOL. I need to know y'alls opinion.

The Big Reveal- Vol. 2: My Favorite Things

I think it is so boring when people introduce themselves in the same way and give all about themselves away in one shot. As I did with revealing my name, I will SLOWLY reveal some of my favorite things. Once again I will present it in my own unique way so that y'all won't be bored (I hope)

Today's Fave: My Favorite Book
I am not a book guy, but if I have to say my favorite book ever is probably this one.

Book Plot: It is the story about a mother bird who knows her egg will be in her nest where she left it, so she leaves him alone to go and get something for him to eat. The baby bird hatches. He doesn't understand where his mother is so he goes to look for her. In his search, he asks a kitten, a hen, a dog, and a cow if they are his mother. They each say NO, and the adventure begins...

The Big Reveal- Vol. 2: My Favorite Things

I think it is so boring when people introduce themselves in the same way and give all about themselves away in one shot. As I did with revealing my name, I will SLOWLY reveal some of my favorite things. Once again I will present it in my own unique way so that y'all won't be bored (I hope)

Today's Fave: My Favorite Movie

Plot Summary: Nancy is having nightmares, violent nightmares about a mysterious badly burned man with a razor fingered glove on his right hand. When she realizes that her friends are having the same nightmares and that one by one they are being brutally murdered in their sleep she turns to her father who does not believe her and thinks her to be crazy. After she finds out the horrible truth behind his rampage she decides to take action and bring this dream murderer out of dreamland and into the real world where she can send him straight to where he belongs.

Update: My "Re-training" Progress

I just thought I would share with y'all how I am doing so far. As y'all know from my earlier post about my delayed "problem" I decided to lay off jackin' as much as I do, and re-train my brain and my dick so I will be able to cum in a much more timely manner. Well so far I have jacked once this week( last night before bed), and it wasn't anything great. I believe my thought process is starting to change because even the thought of stroking is starting to feel less like a joy and more like a task. I got myself aroused by watching some xtube videos, and began stroking my tally wacker. Mid-way through I started getting soft. I clearly wasn't enjoying myself, and was just going through the motions. I haven't done any of those exercises the experts suggested I do yet such as different positions, switching hands, etc. Only thing I have done is use my fleshlight toy, and had "The Mister" give me a slow hand job (which felt GREAT!).

I think I am going to have to creat a customized exercise for myself. Maybe rotate between using my fleshlight, and using "The mister" LOL. A friend of mine recently suggested I throw in a little ass play into my "workout". I guess that means playing with my hole as I stroke or something. I gotta say that is not something I see myself doing, but who knows. As always I will keep y'all posted on my progression.

update: I just looked at ass play clips on xtube, and discovered this little gem. This guy drove himself to full orgasm simply using some device called "Aneros", so y'all know I am now curious :-)

Check out the video clip in this post. FOR ADULTS ONLY!!

Not So Well: School Blues

Sometimes I feel like a failure. I have been in school for 4 years now. I did a year of junior college, then two years at Fort Valley, and a year so far at Southern Poly, and I still am not close to graduating ( 2 more years at least). I am starting to feel like what is the fuckin' point of this school shit. Maybe I decided to go back to late. Maybe I am just not the university type. I am starting to feel I am wasting both my time and money continuing on this treadmill. I feel I am running in place. Giving all my energy but still in the same place. As a high school dropout I never thought I would be in college, let alone a very celebrated Tech school learning about what I like to do, but that novelty is wearing off. I have decided to take break after this semester is over. I am now working now again (as y'all know). Although the job is not my dream job it will do for now. I haven't been doing so well academically since transferring from Fort Valley State.

I am now on academic probation, and to be honest I don't know if I can dig myself out of the ditch I am in. My future at Southern Poly is uncertain to say the least. All I can do is try my best, and pray for a miracle. As of this writing I don't have a "Plan B". I better get off my ass and make one quick, fast, and in a hurry because the semester is over Dec. 8. I need to talk to someone, but I guess I am scared. I have invested so much time into this college dream me and my family have, and now it seems it's falling apart. I don't know why I have failed some classes. I don't know why I don't give some classes my all. I have blown alot of chances, and now it seems the well has run dry. I never thought I would admit it, but I'm scared. I don't know what the future holds for me. I still dream of buying my baby that house I dream about every night, but don't know how I am going to do it. Is it too late for me?

Bad Dream: My Return Home

It is 2:36 A.M. as I am writing this post. I was just awakened by one of the worst nightmares I have ever had. (In my dream)I had returned to Harrisburg, PA to see old friends and family I haven't seen in awhile. I went to visit my childhood friends "The Twins" and their family, which growing up was like my 2nd family. I walked into their home (the last one I remember them staying in) expecting to be greeted with overwhelming cheer seeing how they haven't seen me for over 6 years and all. There in the living was their oldest sister, their grandma (who we all called "Granny"), and their youngest sister. At this point these are the only people I see in the house and the mood is creepy.

The shades were drawn completely shut, and the TV was on mute. The three ladies were positioned in the room as if they were expecting me. I walked in the room excited and let out a "wassup y'all!!! I'm back!" I remember all 3 looked at me with such a cold emotionless stare that it really scared me. Granny then looks at me and says "Give me that coca cola on the table Shawn." I can't believe this... this is my 2nd family who I haven't seen since I left Harrisburg more than 6 years ago, and they are not even responding to my presence. As I am reaching for the Cola bottle the youngest sister comes from behind me and grabs me pinning my arms behind my back. I then hear the other two ladies say to me "We decided how you should die you sick faggot!" That's when I hear a tidal wave of other family members come from the basement including the twins, their older brother "Pimp", their younger brother, and a slew of their cousins, uncles, and aunts I grew up with. They all begin beating and stabbing me, and as they are doing so they are saying the most horrific things I have ever heard. I don't remember all of them but I do remember twins saying something like "We know what you did to him you faggot" as they are stabbing me as ferociously as they can.

The weird thing is that there is no blood at all in this dream, in fact I don't even remember it hurting (can you feel pain in a dream?). I just remember being scared, and thinking to myself this can't be happening. After awhile I managed to escape the torture and was somehow zapped into a police station. The cops told me and my family we have to go into witness protection because the twins and family were looking for me and they are a HUGE family. So I then zapped into a movie theatre and I buy a cookie at the concession. Somehow me buying that cookie led the twins and family to my new house. I was sitting there with my mom when they all came crashing threw my crib like the zombies in the Michael Jackson "Thriller" video. As they are all slowly closing in for the kill, Granny (leader of the pack) emerges and said "this is what you get when you touch my family" and right before she deals the death blow I wake up.

So here I am writing about it before I forget the details. Please forgive any spelling and grammar errors. It's late and my nerves are totally on edge. I can't believe the nightmare I just had. I am going to try to get back to sleep, but I don't see that happening. I am so disturbed right now.

Real Music: Ledisi "Take Time"

Week of Detox Broken!

Well people I did it... I made it one week. I tried going for two, but I got my fleshlight in the mail. That damn thing is amazing. It feels like you are really inside someone. I played with mine for about 30 minutes before a week's worth of juice came erupting out of me. I can't remember when the last time I had such an intense orgasm, and the thickness of the cum was very very surprising. I will try to hold off from using it again until Friday, but I can't make any promises (LOL). I will of course keep y'all posted.

Let's Talk About It: Relationship Edition

I recently received an email I would like to share with y'all. I will post my thoughts on the topic after the passage (which is in red).

Is Your Relationship Worth Saving?

Is Your Relationship Worth Saving It's never easy to put your relationship under a microscope but at some point you have to. You have to be realistic about the pros and cons of staying in or getting out .

It's never easy to put your relationship under a microscope but at some point you have to. You have to be realistic about the pros and cons of staying in or getting out. Think about these three steps and answer honestly.

Step one, Do you feel that the relationship makes you a better person than when you are single? If you can honestly say that you are a happier person with your current relationship and that you have a brighter outlook on things then that is a good sign. You always want to be in a relationship that compliments your own personality. If on the other hand you find that you are constantly second guessing yourself and you notice your friends don't want to be around you as much then you may want to get out. You can't be truly happy if you can't share your relationship with the other people you care about.

Step two, Do you look forward to the time you spend with your mate? If you are eager to see your mate and you can't wait to talk to them, then you are doing really well. Wanting to be around each other is a major thing to keep any relationship alive. But if you dread the thought of seeing them or if you cringe at the sound of their voice then you need to get out. If you can't stand the sound of your mate's voice then you can't want to be around them much.

Step three, Can you see yourself with this person through the good times and the bad? If you can make it through say the death of a close family member and they are supportive and caring, you got a winner. You want to have your mate there for moral support and so you know you aren't alone. If on the other hand they tell you to suck it up or that's life, you need to move on and find someone who will be there for you emotionally. Your mate should always be the shoulder that you cry on when you need to cry.

Just because you may hit some bumps in the road and things might not always look so rosy doesn't automatically mean that you won't work it out. As long as you are realistic with yourself and your mate, you will be able to work on making things better between you. If you can rationally weigh the good and the bad in your relationship and find that the good far surpasses the bad, then you will be able to save your relationship with a little work and understanding.

My Thoughts on this.

I commonly hear people (especially gay men) say they want to be in a relationship, or that they they are looking for love. The thing that bugs me about this is that they say they want love, but it doesn't seem like they are willing to put in the work to obtain and keep it. To me it's the same thing as saying you want to be rich, but yet not doing any work to make it happen. Unlike with money, love doesn't have a lottery. Sites like M4N, or A4A are not like playing powerball at your local 7-11. In fact you are more likely to win the lottery than to find true love on those sites. Love is hard work! There are no short cuts, magic potions, or universal "How-To" guides that you can reference to. Think of being in a relationship as if you are a doctor or lawyer. In those professions you never stop obtaining knowledge or educating yourself. That's why they are called "practices". In a relationship you should never stop "practicing" becoming a better you for the sake of yourself and your partner. People grow, gather new interests, and develop new habits. That's just a fact of life. Where we fail in relationships is we usually keep our partner out of the loop. We change ourselves without involving them into the equation, and before you know it you are strangers in your own home.



There are basic elements that a relationship needs in order to survive. Just like we need air, water,food and shelter to live, relationships need communication, honesty, trust, and understanding to make it. On the surface these things seem like easy to follow common sense laws to holding any kind of relationship, but when a relationship fails it is guaranteed that one of these laws was broken and that's why it ended. The element or "law" that is broken usually right at the start of meeting someone is honesty. It is much easier to be a liar than to be truthful. Think about how many times you've met someone you like and you told them something about yourself that was a straight up lie, but you said it in hopes they would like you more. We have all done it, but the problem is if a relationship develops you can't keep up the lie forever. So when you start being who you really are, and that person realizes it doesn't match up with the person they fell for then they feel deceived and they leave(as they should). KEEP IT REAL! That's not just a slogan for the street, it should be your mantra in life. Be real with yourself and others.



The next big relationship killer...Communication. To me this is "THE BIG ONE". If honesty is the brain of a relationship, communication is no doubt the heart. Men (especially us black men) are afraid to share our feelings, our thoughts, and our opinions with our partners. I have seen so many relationships end simply because one person wasn't aware of the other one's feelings. As much as we would like to be, we are not mind readers. In my relationship I bring up everything that is on my mind, no matter how uncomfortable the topic. It may be undesirable, but it is vital to talk about key important issues. Try creating hypothetical situations to see how your partner feels about that particular issue. Not to long ago I created a "Is It Cool" sheet for my partner to answer. On this list I created some pretty outrageous hypothetical scenarios, but all of them grounded in reality. As I mentioned before we as humans are constantly changing and still being the young man that I am I take into consideration that I am changing at a much faster rate than my partner, who is pretty done with the major changes he will go through in his life.



The point I am trying to drive home is that relationships are hard work. You not only have yourself to consider, but another person as well. Sometimes there are going to be personality clashes. The things you have to ask yourself is if they are worth the work it takes. Are you getting what you need from the relationship? Are all the "laws" being followed? Is the good far outweighing the bad? Do you honestly love them? Can you picture your life without them? If you can answer these questions in a positive way then you got a winning relationship. For those of you not in a relationship, just remember the laws and know what you are truly looking for. Be prepared for the work it takes to obtain and maintain a healthy relationship, and you should be fine.

Much Love

I have received alot of great responses to my previous blog entry about my self image. It touched me that folks not only read what I had to say, but they get something out of it as well. I have to send a special shot out to Thegayte-keeper and Mr. LTM (The world famous Thickkboy). I really appreciate the comments you guys left, and your words did help me with this "battle of self image" I continue to fight. To everyone else that reads my blog I would like to say thank you. I write from the heart and it makes me proud if someone can take something away from what I write. Whether it be insightful, or just a good quick laugh, I thank you all for reading. I will continue to right for as long as I have something to say and I NEVER run out of stuff to say :)

My Fight with Myself vol.1: My Body

After having a long day of school, work around the home, and just overall mental exhaustion I could not wait to wash it off in the shower. After about 15 minutes I got out and started drying myself off. I walked by the mirror and caught a glimpse of myself out the corner of my eye. " Good Lord!" I said out loud (referring to my stomach) where did all that come from. I then looked at my face - I could use a lipo face lift then I looked at my ass- I recall it use to be much firmer I then look at my dick - well it's still top 5 material so that's a plus. I began an assault on myself about how I thought I looked versus how I thought I should look. This is crazy...men aren't supposed to be obsessed with their appearance like this. Of course we all have things about ourselves we don't like, but sometimes I take it a step to far. There was a time when I was going to the gym twice a day 5 days week. It was doing wonders on my body though. I had my chest on point, tummy was nice and flat. All was good except one thing. It became an addiction. Alienating loved ones, obsessing over what I ate, spending a crazy amount of money on supplements, pills, powders, and magic potions did not make me happy.

I didn't have a problem with body image until I became comfortable being gay. When I was exclusively dealing with females I didn't give a second thought about dieting, exercising, and things like that. I figured as long as my dick remains big I'm cool. Even when I finally decided to be myself and deal with men (at first) I didn't have an issue with my body. The muscle boys, although nice to look at, never did anything for me so I knew that's not the type I was trying to attract. It wasn't until I was called "fat" for the first time by some dude I turned down that I began obsessing. Now that door is open and my mind won't allow me to close it no matter how much I diet or exercise. Now I often fantasize about getting cosmetic surgery. I watch shows like extreme makeover or doctor 90210, and think to myself "If I could afford it I would do it". Larry gets upset that I feel this way. He loves just the way I am. In fact when I was working out like crazy he had mixed feelings about the results. On one hand he said it looked OK, but he didn't like holding me as much because my body was too hard, lol.

It's no secret that we as a society base our opinion of people based on their appearance. There is more pressure than ever for both men and women to look like a model. The media maybe be partly at fault when it comes to how people think they are supposed to look. Majority of magazine covers (such as Men's Health) and billboards (like Calvin Klein) give the perception of the ideal and desired man as one who is perfectly fit. Personally I don't know to many people that look like those guys. I offer wonder if those guys are the ideal archetype of what a man is supposed to look like, then why are the lonely and looking for "love" on the web like the rest of us "less desirables"?

I often beat myself up, and call myself fat. I make comments to Larry saying I understand if he wants to leave me for Pierre (my imaginary arch enemy ) because he has a world class body, super firm booty, and is a cover boy. That often results in a tough love slap on the bottom followed by a hug and a kiss and re-conformation that I am fine just the way I am. I do watch what I eat, I do exercise, and I am health conscious. I just realize now that I will never have that "cover boy" body no matter how hard I work at. God just didn't build me to look like that I guess. I just have to face that fact and move on. Both my parents are plus size, so I guess that's another reason I am hard on myself and obsess. I don't want to approach the 250 ILB mark.

I use to think all brothas were supposed to look like this. I have to admit the dude is fine, but as I said before I don't know too many people in real life that look like this.



This is me. Mr. SJB. not exactly the same thing I know, but it's who I am. You know what... I am alright with that. I am discovering that as long as you are honest with yourself and who you are, people will accept you and love you for just that.

The Mature Gay Man

Last week I posted an entry about my admiration of older black men. Since then I have received a few messages from guys my age saying they too like older men, which is cool but some of the reasons they gave kinda got under my skin. Alot of folks my age that DO like older often see them as nothing more than a novelty. Something they can say they did just for kicks. Run and tell their "gurlfriendz" they had some old man dick or ass. Often they will never be seen in public with an older man because they will be embarrassed for whatever reason. Another reason I heard is that older men know how to "take care" of younger men, take care is subtle code for "Sugar Daddy". This really set me off. As I said in my earlier entry I have NEVER been dependent on my partner for any material gain. It's actually the opposite in my situation. If I have a dollar, Larry gets 75 cents, and that's just the way it's always been with us.

The mentality of the new generation of gay men have pretty much forced mature gay men to "step they game up". Majority of the men that go to the gym now are over the age of 35. The rare occasion that I do go to a night club nowadays I see ALOT of older men, sometimes more so than guys my age. Sites such as a4a, and m4n are flooded with guys 35 and over. It makes me think what would I have to do when I am Larry's age to find companionship. It breaks my heart when I see that 50 year old man sitting at the bar in the club trying to pickup on the young twenty something guys not knowing they are laughing at his ass when he turns his back. Or when I see 50+ year old guys on a4a, or m4n resorting to showing their dick or ass to get a hit (message) from some lowlife, or they have to pay extra to get into some sex party just to be touched. This is the definition of pathetic.

I was reading the blog of one my favorite gay columnist Ramon Johnson. Below I have cut and pasted an entry he wrote about mature gay men that I found very interesting. Keep this conversation going, let me know what you think. Leave your comments.

Mature Gay Men

Older Gay Men

By Ramon Johnson, About.com

Over time, the age of desirability for gay men seems to get younger and younger. The age discrimination and lack of attention older or mature gay men receive is synonymous to the pressure some women feel to get married or have children by a certain age.

Today, gay men are coming out at younger ages. It's no longer a shock to hear of an openly gay 14-year-old or a 16-year-old in a gay relationship. Even gay bars see floods of 18-21 year old gay boys seeking love and sex from their peers, leaving older gay men on the side lines. The recent attention and broader acceptance of gay marriage has also contributed to increased pressure for gay men to find love "before it's too late" or "while they are still desirable."

Of course, this doesn't make mature gay men charity cases, it only increases the pressure as aging gay men begin to think about their futures. Some gay men also argue that other gays continue to search for the "fountain of youth" with plastic surgery, eating disorders, excessive gym hours and am obsession with body image.

According to the Affirmations Lesbian and Gay Community Center:

• Nearly 20% of gay seniors have no one to care for them should they become ill, vs. 2% for heterosexual seniors.



• 2/3 of gay seniors live alone vs. 1/3 of heterosexual seniors.

To combat these growing statistics, many gay community centers are launching programs and social groups for older gay men

Detox: Day 2

On day 2 I had one of the many tests of will power I will have during my detox. I had a lovely evening with the mister today. We went out to eat, and then just cruised the city streets riding around with no particular destination. We made a few pit stops along the way. We went to Outright Books, which believe it or not I had never been to before. We then stopped at a couple of adult stores and checked out some of the toys there. I finally got my hands on one of those "fleshlight" things. I have to admit the material feels good, so I went ahead and ordered one online when I got home later in the evening.

We end up getting back home around 10 or so. We laid there for awhile cuddling and of course my dick got hard. It was so tempting to have sex at that moment, and he knew it too. Long story short we found a way he can be satisfied without me having to actually have to ejaculate. It was my first test and I passed, but the night turned out to be very long and difficult for me. I was so horny I didn't know what to do with myself. By this time the mister was long sleep, there is nothing on TV, and I don't feel like blogging/reading. I end up watching some xtube clips to see if I can further test myself. Of all the nights xtube actually had some very hot clips, why all of a sudden they were there tonight? My dick stayed hard for about two hours, so to combat that I made myself an ice pack and let it rest on top of that area. It did the trick, and I was able to concentrate on other things. I started a load of clothes, cleaned the kitchen, vacuumed the floor, watched a DVD, and did a little studying for a quiz I have tomorrow.

I didn't finally fall asleep until 5 a.m this morning. I had made it through another day, and to be honest I believe now that this will get easier. I will let y'all know how tonight goes. Wish me well :-)