Sour Notes: My Least Favorite Albums in 08'

I AM...Full of Myself, should have been the name of this album. I love B', but I was bored with disc one, and confused with disc 2. I listened to the entire album twice and couldn't find anything I wanted to put on my Ipod. Come back harder B.



Note to Chris Brown, Ne-Yo, Trey Songz, Lyfe Jennings, Lloyd, Omarion, Marques Houston, Bobby Valentino, Justin Timberlake, J.Holiday, and all other R&B/ Pop kings.... DO NOT GET MARRIED, IT KILLS CAREERS.



Okay, maybe I am a "hater", but does this man really add anything to the musical landscape? Don't get me wrong the boy got some jams that I really like. But after appearing on 16 billion songs it was bound to happen I would like 1 or 2 of them. This profanity laced album doesn't really serve any purpose except to prove that AUTOTUNE is rapidly making the talentless seem like musical geniuses. Speaking of autotune...



WTF Kanye. Know I am all for changing directions, and after "Graduation" it was apparent that he needed to do something very different. I love the first half of this album. "Amazing" ft. Young Jeezy is just that., and "Say You Will" has been on constant rotation on my Ipod., but from track 7 on , this album lost me and never regained my interest. Although I hate autotune, I loved the way he uses it as an expression of his pain. It's real deep, but overall I must say I'm not a total fan of this album. Maybe in time that will change.



Okay, we all knew Badu was crazy, but this album proves that she is out of her damn mind. After a 5 year wait... that's right HALF A DECADE after the very well produced "Worldwide Underground" album, we get this... WHAT THE FUCK!!!



As a long time Joe fan this hurts me to my heart to say this, but this album straight up sucks. I LOVE Bryan Michael Cox as a producer. In fact I think he is one of the best ones alive, but even the best producers should only be used in moderation. The whole time I was listening to this album I was thinking to myself "God, Joe really needs to suck on some throat lozenges cause B. Cox is having him sounding terrible right now". Last year I told everybody that Joe's "Ain't Nothin Like Me" album was probably the most slept on album of 2007. My what a difference a year, a new record label, and an overused producer can make. I love you Joe, but this album is not hitting on nothing much at all. I love "We Need to Roll" but other than that this is an album that would have been a classic.... 15 years ago.



Remember how bad Eddie Murphy's album was? This album makes that look like "Thriller" in comparison. This is without a doubt the WORST ALBUM OF 2008. For a second I thought my alcoholic uncle with a speech disability somehow got a record deal and released an album. It should be noted that all the songs on this album are entirely written, produced, arranged, and mixed by Mr. Howard. and their is a reason for that. No self-respecting writer, producer, or sound engineer would ever come within 10 feet of this debacle. Avoid this album like the plague.



Note to Ms. Jackson: Filling more than 50% of your album with non-sensible skits does not work in today's Ipod World. Oh and by the way your oompa loompa you call your man single handily killed your career by being such a parasite that Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis no longer want to work with you. You without them is like your brother Mike with Quincy Jones, it simply does not make sense. Swallow your pride, get on your knees and beg them for forgiveness, because with your man JD you are 0 for 3.



This is by far the most overrated album of 2008. I am not a hater by any means. I actually like Lil Wayne' and I think he can rap. But this album saw anticipation we haven't seen since 50's first album, and to me was a HUGE letdown. I can name at least 5 Lil Wayne MIXTAPES that are better than this album. I felt the album lacked any real focus, and simply was a whole lot of nothing. I really like "Nothin On Me" and "Phone Home" because I thought they perfectly displayed Weezy's skill as an creative emcee. Songs like "Lollipop" and "A Milli" however were simply saved by the production. I'm not saying this was a terrible album, just a disappointing one.



One Song....One Song is all I can find on this album that I can say I like. I thought TIP was going to come out with something deep to say after all his legal trouble. I thought I was finally going to hear that T.I from the "I'm Serious" album return. But instead what I got was his worst album to date... even beating out the horrible T.I. vs T.I.P. album.



I will cut JHud some slack because of the tragedy see has had to endure this year. All I will say is that the only thing I didn't like about this album was the direction, and production. JHud's voice deserves better. Shame on you Clive Davis for trying to make her into something she's not.



Is it possible to be literally bored to death? If so then Ne-Yo is a murderer, because I was so bored with this album I nearly fell asleep on the highway while listening to it. The album starts off strong with songs like "Closer" and " Single", but soon take a noise dive into the incredibly boring pool and never comes up for air. I really enjoyed the song "So You Can Cry", and as always his song writing skills are unmatched. The problem is Ne-Yo's voice and the production. Ne-Yo at this point isn't even trying to pretend he's not channeling the great Michael Jackson with his voice and harmony arrangement. This has always been my peave with him, and this album is the worst example of that. If you need something to help you get to sleep I strongly recommend this album. It's more potent than an Ambien pill.



Okay to be fair I like this album, but I am still comparing everything he has done to that amazing debut album he released 4 years ago. It's not fair, but dammit after a album like that I expect more. I can't really find anything bad to say though. The production has great variety this time around, and seems like he is okay with not having to depend on the piano to make a great song. He even has a track by Teddy Riley that sounds great. But as I said before the first album was so great that I have no choice but to compare, and this simply doesn't.



Remember how shockingly good the Mimi album turned out? Remember how you thought to yourself "MC is back bitches!" ? Remember hearing "Touch My Body" and thinking her album was going to be the bomb? Well we were right, it is the bomb. A BIG HUGE BOMB, and not the good kind. What the hell happened this time around? I mean the album has no signature MC jams on it. Not even her savior Jermaine Dupri came through with those patented made for radio songs like he did on the last album. To say I was let down would be an understatement. 2008 was their the Queens (Janet, Beyonce, Mariah) let me down. Speaking of which...



The promise huh? Well if the promise was that you would make another classic like the "One Wish" album you made a decade ago then you have come up short...literally. 10 tracks are you kidding me? Don't get me wrong the album is good, but 10 tracks?! This is not the 80's girl. We demand at least 13 songs on an album in the Ipod World of today. To make up for this all you need to do is release 3 FREE tracks to anyone who bought the album, and you would be back in my good graces.



Okay, maybe I am just not hearing it, but what is so great about this girl? My friends were building her up like she was the second coming of Jill Scott, so I picked up the album... FLAT! I mean I guess she has potential, but on this effort I can't give her my seal of approval.



Yes I know I already mentioned this album. But it is so bad that I simply must tell you again. I have heard Congressional speeches that are better than this album. I have heard better singing from sick cats than I heard on this album. It is so bad that it must be heard. Go get this album!

Worst of the Evils: Vol.3

Situation 1

You are in a relationship that at first is hot and heavy. You are sexually and emotionally fulfilled and as far as you can tell things are going smoothly, but as time goes on you notice your partner no longer seems all that interested in the sexual side of your relationship. You talk to them about this, and you communicate your concerns, and your frustration with the lack of sex. Your partners responds in a nut shell is " I'm just not feeling nowadays". A week goes by, then a month, then several months without sex, at most you get is mutual masturbation. You feel you have reached your breaking point. Emotionally you still feel strongly for the person.
What do you do?

A) I feel this situation justifies me getting some on the side
B) I feel this situation will cause me to break up with my partner.
C) I feel I need to have another talk with my partner to tell them how I am feeling.
D) Just continue to wait until your partner is feeling sexual again, if it happens it happens, if not...

Situation 2

You are in a relationship that at first is hot and heavy. You are sexually and emotionally fulfilled and as far as you can tell things are going smoothly. As time goes on you notice your partner no longer seems all that interested in the sexual side of your relationship. You talk to them about this, and you communicate your concerns, and your frustration with the lack of sex. Your partners responds in a nut shell is " I'm just not feeling nowadays". A week goes by, then a month, then several months without sex, at most you get is mutual masturbation. You feel you have reached your breaking point. One night you finally breakdown and decide to hop online in search of "companionship". You start chatting with a potential piece for the night and before long y'all decide to hook up. You arrange to meet at The W hotel in room 112 at midnight. They said they will answer the door naked. You get to the room and when they open the door your are shocked to discover the person you been chatting with is your partner. The same partner that has been holding out on sex with you.
What do you do?

A) Since This is such a complicated situation that I want you (the reader) to tell me in your words what would you do. *By the way all these situations I write are based on true scenarios*

Situation 3

You are in a relationship that at first is hot and heavy. You are sexually and emotionally fulfilled and as far as you can tell things are going smoothly. As time goes on your partner notices you are no longer all that interested in the sexual side of your relationship. They talk to you about this, and they communicate their concerns, and their frustration with the lack of sex. Your response in a nut shell is " I'm just not feeling it nowadays". A week goes by, then a month, then several months without sex, at most you do is mutual masturbation. Your partner feels they have reached their breaking point. They love, and would never do anything to hurt you, but they feel if you are not willing to satisfy the sexual part of the relationship then they (by default) should be able to have something going on on the side. They discuss this with you...
What do you do?

A) Since This is such a complicated situation that I want you (the reader) to tell me in your words what would you do. *By the way all these situations I write are based on true scenarios*

Situation 4

You are in a relationship with the man of your dreams. You are emotionally fulfilled and as far as you can tell things are going smoothly except for one issue... both of y'all are TOPS. At first this wasn't an issue. You guys found ways of having great sex without the need for penetration. As time goes on though these things no longer fill the sexual appetite of either you or your partner. This soon causes frustration within the relationship and it feels as if it's only a matter of time before one of you decide to end the relationship. Your partner sits you down for a talk, and tells you he has come up with a solution to y'all problem. He thinks that since the only major issue with the relationship is the fact neither of y'all get fucked that the simple solution is to bring a full-time bottom within the relationship so y'all can continue to be "emotionally stable", but still be able to get some ass when it's needed.
What do you do?

A) Negro! Have you lost your damn mind?! Hell naw.
B) That's actually a good idea, and I am willing to do it for the sake of our relationship.
C) I am okay with that, but just a 3rd for sex, not to be an actual life partner of ours.
D) If we truly loved each other we wouldn't have to bring in a 3rd party. We would be willing to at least make an effort to be penetrated because we want to make each happy.

Late Addition: Best Albums of 2008

My boi is back with his OFFICIAL third studio album. After the head scratchier that was Southern Comfort, I am happy to announce that this is a TRUE Anthony Hamilton album. It doesn't come out until December 16th, but I got my hands on a copy last night and I must say it is a good album much like Aint Nobody Worryin was. Check it out.

Happy Birthday To Me

THEN... at 1

NOW !!! at 28

My Last Picture as a 27 year old

Take a good look, This is me 2 days before I turn the big two Eight. If I look mad or upset I am really not. I wasn't feeling so well this morning, but I wanted to take a picture anyway.

2008 Year in Review:Albums I Recommend.

Well it's safe to say that with only 4 weeks left in 2008 that all the worth while music has been released. As a music fan I wanted to share some of my picks of what I think are good choices. In the next Post I will tell y'all what I was disappointed by.



















Anthony David has been my man for a minute now. A Georgia boy that is known for making good music, and received the stamp of approval from India Arie, Anthony David's Third album does not disappoint.




















Robin Thicke is back with his third studio album, and although it's not as good as "The Evolution of Robin Thicke", it's still far better than alot of the non-sense we have heard this year.



Who Knew?! The guy that makes Bryant Gumble look like Malcom X really has some soul after all. This is a really good surprisingly good album. Check it out.



I Love this man. I must admit when I heard "Customer" I was afraid he was entering R. Kelly territory, but when I got the album I was relieved that RV not only retain what made is 1st album so great, but expanded upon it.



Okay... where did this guy come from and why is he still being slept on? Go buy this, download it, or even bootleg it. I don't care just listen to this album NOW!



Naked Music is currently my favorite independent record label. One of my favorite producers "Blue Six" has put together yet another albums that makes you what to smoke some good purple, dance, and have sex in that order. Check this out, as well as other Naked Music classics.



Incognito is among one of the best funk jazz groups of all-time, and this album expands upon their already cemented legacy. With the welcomed surprised of having Maysa return for guest vocals, and the polished production, this album is simply a must buy.



Speaking of Maysa, my girl return with yet another banga. Although this is not her best, and some long time fans may be turned off by some of the poppy type songs, this is still a solid album. Check it out.



When I heard Madonna was working exclusively with Justin Timberlake, Timbaland, and Pharrell Williams I thought to myself "Oh god, another white pop artist trying to gain urban credibility", but upon actually listening to the album I must admit I like..alot. I have practically worn out "She's not me" to the point where when I go to the gym it my official workout song.



I feel Lloyd is the most underrated young R&B singer working today, period! His last two albums have been leaps and bounds above ANYTHING current R&B kings Chris Brown, Ne-yo, and most definitely Usher have given us this year. This album is fantastic from start to finish. "Year of the Lover" is the kind of song Usher would have done when he was in his prime. Buy this and his last album "Street Love" NOW!



Lalah does what she does best on this album. Simply mesmerizes you with her voice, and makes you feel her emotion with every song. Another highly underrated artist in our current sad state of music. Get it now.



The husband/wife duo are back with another one. I was disappointed with their last effort, but this one has made me a fan again. This time around their is a certain uncomfortable energy on the songs as if you are seeing a marriage breakdown, but this is what makes the album great. It reflects what is real in relationships. The good and the bad. Check it out.



What a voice. Such raw emotion with every song, and such sincerity. It makes me smile to see that not every young R&B female singer is trying to follow Beyonce and Ciara down the club, poppy yellow brick road. "Lions, Tigers, and Bears" is a song you must listen to.



Shine is the kind of album you would be proud to have on your Ipod. It is the kind of album I have been hoping Lauren Hill would make, but Estelle sounds a thousand times better doing so. Featuring a perfect blend of hip-hop, r&b, and reggae, Estelle's album is Top 10 best of 2008, period.



The Verve series has long been one of my favorite series of albums. The re-imaging of some of the most classic songs of all-time by such artist as Etta James, Billie Holiday, and Nina Simone by today's best producers is simply genius. V4 up the ante by adding a more hip-hop flavor this time around, and it works big time. Check out ALL the Verve Remixed albums NOW!



I have never been a fan of E.B., but I must give credit where credit is due. This album is hot. The title is pretentious to me (Mary J. Blige already used it) so I wasn't even going to give this album the time of day. Then I got my hand on a advance copy and said okay... he's good. Check it out.



Hip-Hop... The music I once loved with all my heart has been a constant disappointment for me for the latter part of a decade now. I get sick when I turn on the radio here "Shawty pop that thing" or "I got ice on my wrist" or that Got damn T.Pain autotune voice thing. ENOUGH! Lucky for me underground hip-hop has it's fair share of fantastic artists that although will never get mainstream recognition still enjoy critical praise. Elzhi is one such artist. As one half of the legendary group Slum Village, he finally breaks aways for a minute to give us a classic solo album. J. Dilla would be proud.



I heard alot of folks were turned off by Dwele second album "Some Kinda". I for one didn't think it was a bad album, but Dwele has heard the call because his 3rd album is simply awesome. He addresses alot of the criticism about his last album on this album, and about his boost in the public eye after appearing on the mega hit Kanye West song "Flashing Lights". Dwele really opens up, and we get to know him as a man, as well as an artist better with this album. Check it out.



THE BEST ALBUM OF 2008! PERIOD!!! Oh my god, I can go on and on and on and... (get the reference to vibrant thing there?..) Q-Tip came out of no where with this one for real. I mean this album was like an assault in the middle of the night, it simply was not expected. He hasn't released an album in almost 10 years, so I thought he had hung up the mic. All 12 tracks are classics. "Move" produced by J. Dilla before his untimely death due to lupus brought a tear to my eye. No, not because it's an emotionally moving song, far far from it. It is simply a sign that real Hip-Hop lives. No flashy production, No A- List features, No autotune voice thingy. Simply banging ass beats, and LYRICS! Hip-Hop in its purest form. I am seriously in love with this album. So much so I BOUGHT IT... I am a self confessed pirate and I felt I had to buy this album. It's that good.

Get Tested: My First Time

I will never forget the first time I went to get tested for H.I.V. I was 18 years old, and just slept with a guy for the first time. I thought to myself all we did was oral, and you can't get it that way (Young and dumb). I went to my family doctor and told him what I did, and that's when he told me indeed it can be passed along orally. I felt sick to my stomach. The test took two weeks to come back. It was the two longest weeks of my life. I was called into his office, and I was convinced I had it. Afterall, why would he insist I come into his office if I wasn't? He could have simply told me on the phone I was negative, but he was persisted I come in to talk with him. My heart was beating through my chest, and I think a tear made its way down my face. I sat down and waited for the bad news, and he looked at me and said "Your test was negative, your clean." I remember feeling like I just avoided a death sentence. I was so happy I didn't know how to contain the joy i felt. I remember hugging the doctor. The reason he called me in there is because H.I.V. among young,black, gay males was so high in the state that he wanted to talk with me and educate me on what exactly the disease is. I learned about viral loads, transmissions risks, and other things I never even heard about before that talk.

That was 10 years ago. since then I have been tested about 20 times (every 6 months), and I am so blessed to have the sense to know that this thing is real. Since I have moved to ATL I have met and become friends with alot of POZ men. About 2 years ago one friend I had come to be very close to , and looked up to passed away due to HIV/AIDs related complications. I was (and still am) heart broken over his death. I think to myself I haven't always been the smartest cat on the block when it comes to sex. Last year during one my Annual HIV tests I decided to finally get tested for other STDs, and to my horror I tested positive for syphilis. I received a shot to my butt, and 1 weeks worth of a little nasty tablet. It was not easy telling Larry why I needed him to go get tested, and even more difficult to tell him I don't know how this could have happened. It must have happened the night I cheated on him a year or two ago( more on that story in a later post ). Thank the good lord he tested negative on ALL STDs, but it for sure has created a dent in the trust shield.

I won't preach to y'all why it is important to know your status, and why you should always practice safe sex. I am sure by now you all know the deal. I will say let today (World AIDS Day), be a day you reflect on your behavior, and educate yourself. Then decide if that good ol' raw nutt is worth a lifetime of various medicines, and the emotional turmoil that comes with being POZ.

Worst of the Evils: Vol.2

Situation 1

Your friend and his partner have broken up not too long ago, maybe within the last year. You have always had an attraction for your friend's partner but you would never "go there" due to the fact this is your friendship and you value it alot. One day out of the blue your friend calls you and tells you that his ex wants to have sex with you, and he (your friend) wants to watch.
What do you do?

A) HELL YEA! I always wanted to hit that ass!
B) HELL TO DA NAW! Y'all some freaks!
C) I can't do that, You my best friend man, it's not cool
D) I like your EX and prefer to do it one on one.

Situation 2

Your friend and his partner have broken up not too long ago, maybe within the last year. You have always had an attraction for your friend's partner but you would never "go there" due to the fact this is your friendship and you value it alot. One day you tell your friend about you being attracted to his ex. He says its cool if you want to "go there", and won't be upset and y'all still will be the best of friends.
What do you do?

A) No, I'm still not going to date my friend's ex, that's not cool.
B) I will "date" my friends ex now that I have his okay.
C) I would simply fuck my friends ex to cure my curiosity, then I would act like it never happened
D) I wouldn't even mention to my friend I had an attraction to his ex.

Rules of the Game: ArticleBy Roger Pebody

This is an article Larry sent me today, I found it very interesting and wanted to share.


HIV-positive gay men who have unprotected anal intercourse think of themselves as being in settings where ‘everybody knows the rules of the game’, but these understandings are not shared by all gay men, report Barry Adam and colleagues in the November 2008 issue of Culture, Health and Sexuality. Tacit miscommunication, faulty assumptions and differences in decision-making processes are all extremely common, and this raises questions of how to develop HIV prevention messages for specific micro-cultures, they write.

The researchers from the University of Windsor and the AIDS Committee of Toronto conducted in-depth interviews with 34 men who have sex with men. All men reported that their sex was unprotected most or all of the time, although there was one respondent who did maintain consistent condom use, with some difficulty. Ten of the men were HIV-negative, and the rest HIV-positive. The interviews focused on unprotected sex, and examined “the narrative sequences, verbal and nonverbal communication and tacit decision rules” surrounding the practice.

In common with many other studies, the researchers found that many HIV-positive respondents expressed a strong desire to avoid passing on their HIV infection. One respondent said: “I don’t want to put anyone through what I went through when I found out I was positive”.

Whilst the HIV-negative respondents had very little to say about disclosure “as they have the luxury of experiencing it as no problem”, the HIV-positive respondents discussed their dilemmas at length. Direct, explicit discussion ran the risk of hostility or of derailing a potentially pleasurable experience. Instead, the men dropped hints and picked up clues. Whilst these hints might be easy for other HIV-positive men to understand, they might not always be self-evident to men who are less in the know.

Indirect disclosure remained common when cruising online, sometimes thought to be a setting that encourages disclosure of HIV status. Many respondents were reluctant to tick the 'HIV-positive' box on their profile, because it appears on a publicly accessible page.

One HIV-positive respondent took the view that all HIV-negative men would be happy to openly declare their status, which implied for him that anybody whose status was left undeclared would in fact have HIV. He commented: “I’ve always assumed that someone who was negative would see that, like they would kind of figure it out”.

Other respondents thought that ticking 'safe sex only' clearly indicated having HIV, because it suggested that precaution was needed. Furthermore, once a 'safe sex only' man had established that his partner was positive too, unprotected sex could become a possibility.

Given the risks and complexity of disclosure, venues such as saunas and sex-clubs were attractive to men with HIV precisely because disclosure was not perceived to be expected. The same respondent who was quoted above on his desire to avoid transmission also discussed going to a sauna: “Disclosure wasn’t as much an issue because everybody is kind of there having sex and some people disclose and some don’t, but there’s not as much pressure to sort of have to deal with it”.

Moreover the researchers describe 'taken for granted rules of conduct' described by a sub-set of the respondents. For example, discussing saunas, several HIV-positive respondents expressed the view that: “If they start to fuck you [without a condom], you probably figure, well, unless he’s an idiot, he’s probably positive himself.” However none of the HIV-negative interviewees mentioned this presumption.

Moreover, several positive men described non-verbal interactions where a failure to introduce a condom or to halt a penetration is understood as informed consent. One said : “Well you start doing it, if they don’t stop, then you keep going”.

Another described an interaction: “When he pulled like the lube out, he put a couple of condoms on the table. So I was given the choice… However, we never actually discussed condoms and as the sexual encounter progressed, we just kind of took it at the silence of not saying anything about it and that it’d be okay and or it was going to happen”.

These men articulated a worldview in which all present were adults who fully understood the risks they were taking. The researchers write that the men’s rhetoric “draws on a particular mix of individualism, personal responsibility, consenting adults and contractual interaction”. Their ‘rational’ accounts of the reasons why a man may be willing to have unprotected sex with a casual partner do not take into account a host of other potential reasons such as condom and erection difficulties, recreational drug use, momentary lapses, trade offs, personal turmoil and depression.

The researchers stress that the HIV-positive respondents wanted to avoid HIV transmission. However they perceived themselves to be in settings where their prospective sexual partners would have the same assumptions and understandings of what was going on. Different micro-cultures exist within the larger population of men who have sex with men, and Barry Adam writes that “the meeting of men carrying these divergent visions of the sexual game plan can create situations of high risk for HIV transmission”.

Bound By Gayness

If I must say the one thing I don't like about my life since I am now out of the closet sort of speak is the fact that all my friends and close associates are either gay, bi, bi-curious, or just plain confused. I am trying to think do I have any straight MALE friends anymore, and I can't think any. I have guys at the job I'm cool with, but I haven't announced to them I'm gay, because for one it shouldn't matter, and two its not an aspect of my life I feel I need to shout from the mountain tops. I don't go around with it on my business card like it's a slogan... "Shawn Benjamin...gay since 1998". I am at a point if someone were to ask me I would tell the truth. One of my friends at work who I have really gotten cool with always ask about "my wife" (because I were a band on my finger), and I want to tell him so bad I don't have a wife, but I am married, just to see if he catches on. The thing about gay man, straight man relationships is that they are so damn complicated depending on the men involved. It seems like if I do get to know a straight guy as a chill buddy or whatever and I tell them I'm gay they either slowly disconnect themselves from me, or slowly try to get with me. Their is no gray area, purely black and white.

My family has arrived to a point that everybody I introduce them to is most likely gay or lesbian. This saddens me. Just because I am gay doesn't mean I only want gay people in my life. I was talking with my best friend about this troubling fact in my current life, and he said this will change as I get older. As I continue to mature and meet more mature minded people that my sexuality won't be an issue. I will have friends of all walks of life. I hope this does come to be. I don't want to be bound to my friends by gayness. I don't want those in my life who are NOT gay to be gay by association. I just want to be a regular guy with regular friends. Is that to much to ask?

Hearing (The Final Human Sense)

Now to conclude the first volume of my "Human Senses" series I want to talk about the last sense, sound. What role does sound play when it comes to sex? I have yet to fully understand, but as usual I would like to stat out with a story. I was kicking it with this guy that from the sight of him you would think would be a very passive guy in the bedroom. He didn't have much "flavor" or "swagger" to his personality, and to be honest was kind of too soft for my taste. Needless to say I wanted to see if my assumption was accurate so I decided to take him for a test drive. I was seriously wrong about this man. Sexually he unleashes the beast...literally. You see, ol' boy was a screamer. I mean Mariah Carey hiitting high notes screamer. And he talked so much shit, I didn't know whether to be turned on, or laugh my ass off. I end up doing the latter. He was a screamer, a moaner, a groaner, a roarer, and a shouter. I mean for a second I thought I was in bed with a damn Tiger. It was crazy, and it didn't do anything for me. Those types of sounds never did anything for me.

I do however believe that sound plays a critical role in sexual interaction. Think about it, don't you love hearing that slapping sound as you hitting some good ass just perfect? Or the slurping and smacking a good blow job delivers? Sometimes sound alone can intensify an orgasm. I can speak from personal experience that when I hear that perfectly pitched "baby I'm cummin'" from my dude it's not long before I am painting the walls white myself. Sounds can also have the opposite effect during sex. As with the story above, or more commonly for me the sound of porn. This may sound crazy coming from a guy that owns over 600 porno moves, but porn irritates the hell out of me. I mean the constant barrage of fake moans, and "YEA NIGGA" or if for some strange reason it's a whiteboy in the scene "Give me that black cock!" gets on my last nerve. I must watch porn with the sound muted. If I don't it becomes just a regular movie with bad dialogue. Like watching a Sci-Fi channel movie or something. No sound during sex is probably the most ego damaging thing there is though. Imagine you working your ass off to satisfy someone, and they just laying there emotionless, no making a peep. Sometimes silence speaks louder than words ever can. To me that's saying. "Nigga, you wack. I could have had a V8".

So what do y'all think? How important is sound during sex? As usual leave your comment as thanks for reading.

My Moment of Madness: I done lost my damn mind

What is addiction? Addiction is defined as a "Psychological and bodily dependence on a substance or practice which is beyond voluntary control". There are many different types of addiction, and I think everyone has one. I could be wrong though. I know for a fact that I do. I am a shopping addict. This is self diagnosed so I could be wrong. All I know is whenever I have a nice sum of money, I feel I just have to spend it or I get "the itch". I really only buy shit that interest me though, which questions if I am an addict or not. I would think a shopping addict would buy any and everything there is to buy. I tend to blow a ridiculous amount of money on electronics and games. Last week I hit a new low (or reached rock bottom, how ever you want to say it). I spent close to $700 dollars on games....GAMES! I came to my senses two days later when I looked at my bank account and saw that it was nearly drained. I said to myself this shit is going back RIGHT NOW, and not only did I get my money back, but ever since I been on a selling spree selling everything that hasn't been used in the last year or so. Now I'm on my cheap man shit. I haven't spent any unnecessary money this week (other than buying an expensive as turkey sandwich), and I am pretty proud of that. I don't know what came over me. To be honest with y'all I don't even play games that much any more because I don't have time, but I love to collect them. I think there is nothing wrong with spending money, but only IF YOU HAVE IT. I have student loans to payback, Rent to pay, a car that needs a transmission, and of course I gotta eat. Meanwhile my dumb ass going crazy on Amazon.com buying shit. I'm not an addict, I'm just crazy as hell and had a moment. Now I'm back to life. The wallet is on love lockdown.

Bottom

There is a discrimination crisis going on within the black gay community. Actually there are several internal discriminatory issues within the bgc, but there is one in particular that has me puzzled, and slightly troubled. Why don't the openly bottom boys get any love anymore? I mean I hear alot of TOPS say "man, I don't fuck wit btm niggas, I like them vers niggas" When I ask why I get the same answer... bottom boys are just to damn fem. Why in 2008 is there still a stigma on being a bottom? Is it because it goes against everything we are raised to believe about being a man. Black men are supposed to strong, and any signs of weakness are forbidden. So therefore a man that willfully classifies himself as a bottom must mean he's weak, soft, a punk, a girly man, etc. Being an ATL resident I find this extremely puzzling. I personally know so many self proclaim TOPS that take more dick than even the biggest bottoms out there. And this seems to be the norm. I hear so many stories about men posing as Tops in their A4A or M4N ad, but when it's time to get busy they the first ones to spread their legs. I believe there is still a stigma that if you a bottom then you a woman...period. Afterall, bottoms are usually much more flamboyant, feminine, and visibly more clockable than tops. I personally know alot of bottoms that when it comes to online dating classify themselves as vers. I guess in their eyes this makes them more masculine then staying true to their role as bottom. I am not afraid to say that I get penetrated , and trust me when I say I am far from being a fem bot. Then again I'm not a true bottom either. I mean I got a pipe I love to use frequently. Does this fact add to my masculinity? What if I decided to no longer put my dick in a nice ass? Would that banish me to a lifetime in femworld, usa?

Further more I have discovered a new type of bottom that I didn't know existed until just a few years ago. The really masculine bi-sexual brothas that only use their dicks on pussy, but they love being fucked down themselves. I even heard some of these guys say they sometimes have their girl put on a strap-on and let their girl fuck them. This is some crazy ass shit, but hey who am I to judge. Me personally I think labels are stupid. To me you are what you are AT THAT MOMENT IN TIME. Meaning if you label yourself a TOP, but when you with me you bottom, then I'm gonna see you as a bottom because that's what you are at that moment. Living in ATL, if I were to believe all these brothas that label themselves a TOP were being honest then that would mean this city... the blackest, gayest city on planet earth has ZERO bottoms. Glad that isn't true... if it was I would have to date the whiteboys :) I'm kidding.

Worst of the Evils: Vol.1

Situation 1

You and your partner start a life together. You buy a house, everything is in both y'all names, etc. One day you come home early from work and notice an unfamiliar car in y'all driveway parked along side of your partner's car. You walk in the house only to discover them knocking boots on y'all bed on top the the quilt your grandma hand stitched and slaved over to make for y'all. What do you do?

A) Go into a rage and try to attack both your partner and his piece?
B) Walk out the room before they see you
C) Join in on the fun
D) Immediately get your stuff, leave and make plans to end the relationship.

Situation 2

You and your partner live in separate houses, but you have keys to each others place which means you can come and go as you please. One day you decide to stop by his place to say hello and notice an unfamiliar car in their driveway parked along side of your partner's car. You walk in the house only to discover them knocking boots in his bed. What do you do?

A) Go into a rage and try to attack both your partner and the other person?
B) Walk out the room before they see you
C) Join in on the fun
D) Tell yourself " It's my fault, I shouldn't have stopped by unannounced"

Situation 3

You and your partner live in separate houses, but you have keys to each others place which means you can come and go as you please. One day you decide to go home for lunch on your lunch break. You get to your house and notice an unfamiliar car in your driveway parked along side of your partner's car. You walk in your house only to discover them knocking boots in your bed. What do you do?

A) INSTANT DEATH TO THEM BOTH!!!!
B) Walk out the house before they see you
C) Join in on the fun
D) Calmly ask them to leave, and end the relationship with your partner.