My Train of Thought

Those that know me say I'm crazy or "special" because of the some of the out of this world shit I come up with. Let me explain by giving you some insight on how I think. Things of ordinary convention and explanation bore me. I prefer to think there is cynical, maybe even a tad sinister undertone to most things. Call it the wicked sense of humor, or Black comedy, but I have always dealt with things, especially bad things with a since of humor. I remember when I heard a friend of mine had passed away due to a heart attack at the age of 32, I remember saying something to the affect "his mom is gonna have one too when she see's all the porn laying around his house." I knew that was a terribly inappropriate thing to say, but it is how I kept my emotions in control.

That is just a small example. The overall picture of this train of thought is that I not only think "outside the box" but I burn the box and serve the ashes in a nice drink for all to consume. I hate conformity. I hate being a sheep. In my "lifestyle" there seems to be nothing but conformity. You have to workout 5-6 times a week, have 8 inches are bigger, be a certain skin tone and body shape, go to the club every weekend, or just be a straight up sissy. FUCK THAT!!! I prefer to turn that kind of tradition on it's head. I'm gonna rock my love handles with the same smug and undeserved since of accomplishment everyone else does. I am gonna rock to heavy metal in the hood with the windows down on full volume. I'm gonna go to an museum and look at art rather than go to club and look at boys. I am gonna do all the things that aren't expected for a young, black, (well endowed), gay man to do. Not be defined by my sexuality or race.

Since I have developed this train of thought my life is getting better each day. I have come to find out that people with accept you as long as your are being truthful to who you are. I know I sound like a certain annoying campaign ad, but live above the influence. Develop your own train of thought. I promise you will be a happier person for doing so.