Get Tested: My First Time

I will never forget the first time I went to get tested for H.I.V. I was 18 years old, and just slept with a guy for the first time. I thought to myself all we did was oral, and you can't get it that way (Young and dumb). I went to my family doctor and told him what I did, and that's when he told me indeed it can be passed along orally. I felt sick to my stomach. The test took two weeks to come back. It was the two longest weeks of my life. I was called into his office, and I was convinced I had it. Afterall, why would he insist I come into his office if I wasn't? He could have simply told me on the phone I was negative, but he was persisted I come in to talk with him. My heart was beating through my chest, and I think a tear made its way down my face. I sat down and waited for the bad news, and he looked at me and said "Your test was negative, your clean." I remember feeling like I just avoided a death sentence. I was so happy I didn't know how to contain the joy i felt. I remember hugging the doctor. The reason he called me in there is because H.I.V. among young,black, gay males was so high in the state that he wanted to talk with me and educate me on what exactly the disease is. I learned about viral loads, transmissions risks, and other things I never even heard about before that talk.

That was 10 years ago. since then I have been tested about 20 times (every 6 months), and I am so blessed to have the sense to know that this thing is real. Since I have moved to ATL I have met and become friends with alot of POZ men. About 2 years ago one friend I had come to be very close to , and looked up to passed away due to HIV/AIDs related complications. I was (and still am) heart broken over his death. I think to myself I haven't always been the smartest cat on the block when it comes to sex. Last year during one my Annual HIV tests I decided to finally get tested for other STDs, and to my horror I tested positive for syphilis. I received a shot to my butt, and 1 weeks worth of a little nasty tablet. It was not easy telling Larry why I needed him to go get tested, and even more difficult to tell him I don't know how this could have happened. It must have happened the night I cheated on him a year or two ago( more on that story in a later post ). Thank the good lord he tested negative on ALL STDs, but it for sure has created a dent in the trust shield.

I won't preach to y'all why it is important to know your status, and why you should always practice safe sex. I am sure by now you all know the deal. I will say let today (World AIDS Day), be a day you reflect on your behavior, and educate yourself. Then decide if that good ol' raw nutt is worth a lifetime of various medicines, and the emotional turmoil that comes with being POZ.