Dating Nightmare Part Two: Hold The Mayo

As a Top man I have used pretty much everything as lube at one point or another. From Vaseline, to cooking oil, even the good ol' standby SPIT have been used by me with the purpose of fucking some good boy booty. I consider myself an open-minded fella, but this one guy taught me that even I have my limits of tolerance. This guy hit me up online years ago. He was yet another eager fan of BLACKNIGGAWITABIGASSDICK and was dying to meet me, so I set it up for later that night. Well I get to the guy's place and when he opened the door I thought I was at the wrong apartment. I mean this guy was not hot to say the least, but I saw that he had a nice ass on him, and a mighty piece of meat too so I decided to go in... I wish I hadn't. The place was a complete nasty ass mess. Dishes in the sink, clothes on the floor, black dirt ring around the tub. You name it he had it. Again my eyes wonder back to that big ol' camel ass he was packing and suddenly his housekeeping skills did not matter.

I QUICKLY got down to the nitty gritty and demand him to take his clothes off and lube up his ass. He excused himself so he could do as I instructed him to do. A few minutes later he comes back and gets on all fours so I can hit that thing from the back. When he bent over my smelling sense picked up the aroma of mayonnaise. I thought to myself "Did he prepare a egg salad sandwich while he was gone?" Never in my wildest dreams would I have suspected this nasty ass negro would use mayo as LUBE. I am so serious y'all. The odor I was smelling, that mayo and booty sandwich smell was coming from his hole. My dick died immediately after the revelation. I didn't say a word. I just got up put my clothes on and ran to the car and burned rubber getting as far away from the apt. complex as I could. I later get emails from him saying the usual things that people who have been rejected say. I simply deleted theme and filed him under the pile of crazy ass ATL encounters I had stacked up. I had totally forgot about this until earlier this evening I saw a commercial for low fat mayo. I bust out laughing and my brother was asking me what was so funny. If he only knew.