Jam of the Week: Q-Tip "Getting Up"

I grew up listening to A Tribe Called Quest, and til' this day I believe they are one of the greatest hip-hop groups EVER. When they broke up in 1998 I shed a little tear, because to me it signified that hip hop just became not so special, and I was right. The shit that has been feed to the public for the last 10 years barely qualifies as music, let alone HIP-HOP. When I heard Q-Tip was coming out with a new album after a 9-year hiatus I was equal parts excited and skeptical. After all we are living in an age were Lil Wayne, T-Pain, and T.I. pretty much rule the radio, and all the "old folks" of hip-hop have been forced into retirement. I picked up the album November 4, 2008 and I haven't been able to listen to anything else in the last two weeks. It is simply an amazing album. TRUE hip-hop fans rejoice!!! We now have an album we can call our own. Check out the first single "Getting Up" in the video above. ENJOY!

A New Set of Rules part 1

Being as young as I am, I am what is considered a product of the online era. As such it is no surprise that most if not all relationships I see folks in were developed via the web. One trend I see that is becoming more and more "The Norm" is the concept of open relationships. I have to admit I did not know there was a such thing until I got in the "life". My knowledge of relationships came from my parents and older siblings, which meant two people in a monogamous long term partnership. Nowadays I see folks that have the ground work of a long term relationship, meaning they have chosen to build a life together, but they are free to have sex with whomever they chose. An example of this is... I know a couple that met on A4A (which I thought was impossible given the fact that site is for sex), but even though they are together, each one still has an active profile on A4A, M4N, BGC, and all the other such sites. On top of them having profiles, they both still do "meet and greets" with folks on there. This is mind blowing to me. Their reason is an odd one, they say "why should we stop being on there just cause we together, we met on there". To me this is like getting married and saying why should I stop dating, I met you by dating. It makes no sense.

Another thing I see is what I call a new set of rules. The Internet age has created some interesting terms of agreement, and has changed the concept of the "traditional relationship". Having men perform sex acts on cam for you, having an online "friendship" with men you found through a sexually themed website/group, and even couples looking for a third party to be in the actual relationship are now fast becoming acceptable practices. I crafted an entire list of things, situations, and proposals for My mister to see if he thinks those things are acceptable in a relationship. Being that he is old school I wasn't surprised that he said no to majority of the list. Some things I asked were is it cool for me to have an active profile showing my dick and ass. He said hell no. I asked if it was cool for me to have cam to cam (or c2c) with someone. He said hell no. I asked if flirting with some hot guy at a party or wherever okay. He said hell no. I ran this list by one of my buddies who is in one of these new age relationships, and he said he and his partner do these things all the time and its no big deal. Now I consider myself new old school. Meaning I am old fashioned when it comes to the foundation and value of my relationship. But I am new school when it comes to some of the rules. For example, when I went away to college in South, GA I told my guy he has my permission to get him some ass until I get back. He didn't take me up on my offer, but I was a realist and said I rather us talk about it, versus him feeling guilty for cheating.

This is a topic that I can write on and on about, but it's late so I will pick this up again soon.

Best Screen Name EVER!!!!

BLACKNIGGAWITABIGASSDICK

That was my yahoo screen name before I met Larry. That screen name became so legendary that it became a burden to live up to. I remember coming home from work, and would have about 50 new emails...and that was on a SLOW day. I gave birth to that screen name one day in 2001 in Harrisburg, PA. I wanted a name that both described what I was offering as well as be a bold attention getter. IT WORKED like a charm. On top of that I had my dick pic to accompany the screen name. That screen name got me alot of free dinners, but like I said the name came with alot of burden. I know now that All I WAS to brothas was DICK. Nothing but DICK. Doing my time as BLACKNIGGAWITABIGASSDICK (2001-2003) I must have had 100 "meet and greets". I got a Playstation 2, countless dinners, DVDs, and airline tickets from that screen name. But as alot of celebrities say...it's lonely at the top. All these guys liked BLACKNIGGAWITABIGASSDICK, they didn't give a damn about Shawn B. in some cases they didn't even know Shawn B. existed. I guess it would be like going to dinner with a actor or porn star. All you know is the character they portray, and in most cases that's all you would want to know.

With all that said I did have fun as my alter ego. Being BLACKNIGGAWITABIGASSDICK helped me grow much more comfortable being gay. It gave me ALOT of sexual practice allowing me to become the sexually skilled individual I am today. And it gave me the knowledge to know when a nigga is full of shit. I become much more aware of myself and people, and how to play the "gay game". I buried BLACKNIGGAWITABIGASSDICK the day Larry committed himself to me. I threw my alter ego a going away party that consisted of me jacking off on cam with some of my yahoo buddies. So if you see someone with that screen name, he is just a copy. I AM (WAS) THE REAL BLACKNIGGAWITABIGASSDICK

Smell

It’s time to talk about the smell sense for a minute. As usual I’d like to start off with a story.
I was kicking it with this guy awhile ago, and by awhile I mean years ago. One day I was on the phone with him and he wanted me to come over so we could “play”. I mentioned to him I just came from jogging and I need to take a shower and find a way to get over there. He says to me he will come get me, only if I don’t shower. I asked him why he doesn’t want me to shower and he said “because I love the smell of a nigga”. I asked him what does that smell like. He asked me to reach my hands down my pants then smell my fingers…that’s how a man should smell. I thought to myself “a man is supposed to smell like sweaty musty ass balls?!” this is some crazy shit. I myself know I don’t like odors, but if this is what he wanted I would grant his request. He came and picked me up about a hour later. We get to his house and he begins sucking my sweaty, musty, unwashed dick and balls. I felt totally uncomfortable, that “unsure” feeling was heavy on my brain. I knew my balls smelled like I soaked them in onion soup, but that didn’t phase ol’boy one bit. He then turns me around and smells my hole… my sweaty, possibly shitty hole. You would have thought ol’boy just sniffed cocaine, because he was in such a rush he began licking it til’ he came. No I am not joking, this is real talk, he came from licking my sweaty, musty, possibly shitty hole. I asked him what is it about “a man’s smell” he likes because at this point I am totally confused. He said he doesn’t know why but it’s something intoxicating about that particular smell.

As I was trying to mentally recover from having sweat licked from my ass and balls I thought to myself is/was this the normal thing for humans to do in primitive times. I mean before there was perfume/cologne humans were attracted by the natural pheromones given off by a potential mating partner. In fact (according to research I did) it was undesirable to “mask” the natural body smell, and could be seen as offensive back in the olden times. But of course in our modern age, it’s the exact opposite. We (humans) collectively spend tens of billions of dollars making sure we smell as good as possible by buying perfumes, colognes, deodorants, scented oils, etc. So what is it with this small group of folks in the modern age that love natural body smell (odor)? I understand it to a certain extent. I mean I LOVE the smell of my baby's body. I often say I wish I could bottle it, and spray it around the room when he’s not around. But his smell isn’t funky, sweaty, or musty or any of those offensive smells. If I had to describe it it’s like a neutral/new smell. Like when you get a new car or a new comforter, but it is uniquely him.

I was speaking with my best friend who is very sensitive to odors. I told him that story, and I can hear him vomit a little in his mouth. He (my bff) is the type of guy that if you not coming to bed smelling like the men’s cologne section at Macy’s then you don’t stand a chance. If your breathe doesn’t smell like you downed a pack of tic tacs then you might as well not even waste your time. I was telling him about the research I did about some folks liking the aroma of the natural body scent, and he didn’t buy that. He believes they just some damn freaks like “piss boy” I told y’all about. What do y’all think? Is smell critical? What kind of smells do you like your partner to smell like? Do you enjoy “The smell of a man?” Let’s get a debate started

Quick Update: Cut The Fat

Well it's been two weeks on I think I am doing well on the DIET part of my plan to get in better shape. The EXERCISE part is a sad disappointment though. I have been to the gym just twice in two weeks. I need to do much better than that. My problem is I get ored with the routine. Treadmill warm up, weights, back to treadmill. I got my hands on a copy of that P90X video that I see on late night infomercials. I think begining this weekend I am going to give it a shot. I decidied I won't start weighing myself,because I will obseess and start checking the scale everyday (I know how I am so I don't want to go there.) As allows wish me well, and thank y'll for the encouragement. I surely do need it :-)

November 4th, 2008: In My Lifetime

I never thought this would happen in my lifetime. As I mentioned before I am not into politics. I am also a guy that doesn't display his emotions. But tonight, like many millions of other Americans, I cried. I cried tears of joy, and I wasn't ashamed. As much as I love America I still believe it is still very much immature. When President Obama first stepped on the political scene I must admit I thought it was a joke. The novelty of a black man (or even a half black man) being president would never happen in our ultra conservative country. Afterall this is the same country that demanded Janet Jackson's head on a stick for displaying a fraction of a seconds worth of nipple. The same country that still believes gays/lesbians/transgenders should be locked away in a mental facility as to not affect the "normal" people. The same country that still put most minority people in a stereotypical box as to clearly keeps us from ever being truly equal. But tonight my faith in my country has been restored. Not only did Obama win, but it wasn't even close. I am not naive to think that racism is dead though. I know it is alive and well, but on this historical night America was able to see Obama not for his color, but for the hope he represents for our nation. As cheesy as this sounds I am proud to be an American! I am proud to have had a hand in making history. I am proud to be part of a generation that embraces change, and breaks down the wall of conformity and tradition. Here's to (what I pray will be) Four great years of change for the USA

God Bless America

Touch

Now it's time to explore the Touch or Feel sense of humans. Let me start off with a story.

I remember playing basketball with my friends a long time ago when I just a small child in Harrisburg. It was nothing for us to get banged up or bruised on a daily basis, boys will be boys after all. As I was dribbling the ball somehow the ball bounced into my rigid left hand fingers and jammed them into place. It hurt like hell, I could not move them at all because the pain was so intense I would cry. After wearing a finger brace for two weeks I was able to move them again, but I noticed a strange sensation was now present. Whenever I bent my middle and ring fingers they would pop. This was painful, but at the same time it felt good. So til' this day almost 20 years later I bend my fingers to experience that perfect mix of pleasure and pain.

This leads to the question... why do some men like to be fucked in the ass? I know what y'all are saying... it's not just men, alot of women like it too. I know that, but I am focusing on the brothas because it's much more psychological with us. I use to think some of the guys I have been sexual with are crazy. (From what I am told) I am a well above average brotha as far as penis size is concerned, so when I fucked a guy I always had to be careful not to cause any damage. There were alot of guys though that wanted ALL of me in them, and they wanted it RUFF!. I will never forgot this one guy I was with about 5 maybe 6 years ago. He is a true warrior in the bedroom for real. Usually I would have to send the first few minutes of intercourse getting a brothas use to my size...not this dude. He wanted me to RAM it all in on the first try WITH NO LUBE! I looked at his hole expecting to see a black hole that can suck me into its vortex with ease, but I was surprised that he still looked very tight down there (no rosebud at all). I did what he asked and I can see that he was in such intense pain I wanted to stop. I asked him was he ok and his answer is simply classic. He said "I want you to fuck me so hard til' my soul bust a nutt" LOL. I did as he asked and he then went somewhere between torturous pain and unbelievable ecstasy. Within minutes he was cumming from both is dick and his ass, all without touching himself. I had NEVER experienced that before. Remember we used NO lube at all. I thought I was fucking some kind of S&M freak, but he was just a regular bottom that liked ruff fucking.

Before meeting My dude' I was not a fan of the bottom position. Don't get me wrong, I did it, but I just didn't like it. I only did it with the couple of men that I felt emotionally connected to (men who are still in my life by the way). I couldn't see going through what I think is the male equivalent of child bearing with just anybody. If I was gonna sub ject myself to that kind of pain I got to really like the guy, and that means beyond the bedroom. I will never forget the first time I let him penetrate me. His thickness is unreal, and I thought it was no way in hell I was going to be able to take that without elephant tranquilizers and a vicodin for afterwards. But he was so gentle, and got me so relaxed that it went in with relative ease. This is when that feeling of pleasure and pain kicked in, and I now understood way and how bottom brothas can do what they do. From that day on I was now officially a verse brotha. In the what has to be at least a hundred times of The Mister penetrating me, I have now reached the Holy Grail of dick taking. I can now injaculate (not ejaculate). Do a goole search if you don't know what that is.

Why does this pain feel good? I must know. I need to further investigate this so I am asking for my readers to weigh in on this topic. Why do we voluntarily put ourselves through pain to achieve pleasure? Is there an easier way to get the same pleasure? Leave your comments for a brotha.