Sometimes I feel like a failure. I have been in school for 4 years now. I did a year of junior college, then two years at Fort Valley, and a year so far at Southern Poly, and I still am not close to graduating ( 2 more years at least). I am starting to feel like what is the fuckin' point of this school shit. Maybe I decided to go back to late. Maybe I am just not the university type. I am starting to feel I am wasting both my time and money continuing on this treadmill. I feel I am running in place. Giving all my energy but still in the same place. As a high school dropout I never thought I would be in college, let alone a very celebrated Tech school learning about what I like to do, but that novelty is wearing off. I have decided to take break after this semester is over. I am now working now again (as y'all know). Although the job is not my dream job it will do for now. I haven't been doing so well academically since transferring from Fort Valley State.
I am now on academic probation, and to be honest I don't know if I can dig myself out of the ditch I am in. My future at Southern Poly is uncertain to say the least. All I can do is try my best, and pray for a miracle. As of this writing I don't have a "Plan B". I better get off my ass and make one quick, fast, and in a hurry because the semester is over Dec. 8. I need to talk to someone, but I guess I am scared. I have invested so much time into this college dream me and my family have, and now it seems it's falling apart. I don't know why I have failed some classes. I don't know why I don't give some classes my all. I have blown alot of chances, and now it seems the well has run dry. I never thought I would admit it, but I'm scared. I don't know what the future holds for me. I still dream of buying my baby that house I dream about every night, but don't know how I am going to do it. Is it too late for me?
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