So Long So Gone

Woooooooooowwwww!!!

I can't believe is been over a year and a half since I posted a blog. Well alot of things have happened in that time all of which I will get into in future postings. Life surely has been a roller coaster ride since my last post. Old friends became enemies, new friends replaced old friends, relationships were put to the ultimate test, my faith was tested, family members passed, new family members were gained. Yes 2009-present has been a mixed bag of ups and downs. But I guess that is what makes life so interesting. I must say I am excited to be getting back in the swing of writing for public viewing. I have kept a journal of my thoughts for the last few months. So of those passages I will share, and there are some that are deeply private that I won't share. I know I I have lost whatever little audience I had on blogger. Out of sight out of mind is the general rule in life, so I understand that. Hopefully I will gain them back, as well as new readers. So enjoy. 

Mr. SJB is back! And it feels good to be back!

Dating Nightmare Part Two: Hold The Mayo

As a Top man I have used pretty much everything as lube at one point or another. From Vaseline, to cooking oil, even the good ol' standby SPIT have been used by me with the purpose of fucking some good boy booty. I consider myself an open-minded fella, but this one guy taught me that even I have my limits of tolerance. This guy hit me up online years ago. He was yet another eager fan of BLACKNIGGAWITABIGASSDICK and was dying to meet me, so I set it up for later that night. Well I get to the guy's place and when he opened the door I thought I was at the wrong apartment. I mean this guy was not hot to say the least, but I saw that he had a nice ass on him, and a mighty piece of meat too so I decided to go in... I wish I hadn't. The place was a complete nasty ass mess. Dishes in the sink, clothes on the floor, black dirt ring around the tub. You name it he had it. Again my eyes wonder back to that big ol' camel ass he was packing and suddenly his housekeeping skills did not matter.

I QUICKLY got down to the nitty gritty and demand him to take his clothes off and lube up his ass. He excused himself so he could do as I instructed him to do. A few minutes later he comes back and gets on all fours so I can hit that thing from the back. When he bent over my smelling sense picked up the aroma of mayonnaise. I thought to myself "Did he prepare a egg salad sandwich while he was gone?" Never in my wildest dreams would I have suspected this nasty ass negro would use mayo as LUBE. I am so serious y'all. The odor I was smelling, that mayo and booty sandwich smell was coming from his hole. My dick died immediately after the revelation. I didn't say a word. I just got up put my clothes on and ran to the car and burned rubber getting as far away from the apt. complex as I could. I later get emails from him saying the usual things that people who have been rejected say. I simply deleted theme and filed him under the pile of crazy ass ATL encounters I had stacked up. I had totally forgot about this until earlier this evening I saw a commercial for low fat mayo. I bust out laughing and my brother was asking me what was so funny. If he only knew.

New Year, New Look, New Format

Wow, it has been nearly a month since I have posted an actual full fledged post in my blog. I hope you guys missed a brotha while I was gone. A few things have happened since my last post. I celebrated turning 28 years old (as y'all already know), I finished another semester of school (didn't do that great, but that's another story), started what most people would called "resolutions" a bit early this year.I promised myself I would keep on the path of good health, and I am doing well so far. I also did NOT celebrate Christmas this year. There were a couple of reasons the mister and I decided not to do it this year. The big one being we had other responsibilities that didn't allow us to have disposable funds to go Christmas shopping (although we did take advantage of some awesome IKEA deals for ourselves), and the other reason was... to be honest we are sick of the whole material propaganda of Christmas so we decided not to be a part of it this year. I must admit not having to worry about what I was going to get people for Christmas felt GREAT. I should have done this years ago. The mister and I came up with the idea that our Christmas presents to each will be to go on a oversees vacation in the spring time.

Oh, and how could I forget to say this... HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!!! I hope 2008 was good for y'all and if it wasn't I want to wish you that your 2009 be much much better. I don't make resolutions. I think the concept of waiting until Jan.1st to better yourself is ridiculous. If you come to the decision that you want to make positive changes in your life why not start right then and there at that very moment? Instead what I do is make an "audit" of myself and analyse where I am and where I want to be. I continue on that path until I decide if I should continue or start on a new path. One of those changes I have decided is with this blog and the readers I have come to appreciate. I am still very much a blogging rookie, and when I got the "blog fever" a few months ago I felt that I must blog each and every day, sometimes several times a day. The man that introduced me to blogging (Mr. Thaddus Works) posted something like 400+ entries in 2008, and I thought I had to do that as well. My new outlook is that whenever I have something I want to say that is when I will post. If that is everyday or simply once a month it doesn't matter. I want what I type on these pages to mean something, and to reach people. Not just simply feel I have to put fresh content on here just for the sake of putting new stuff here.

With this new found view on how I will for now on approach blogging comes a new look and format to my page. I still want to keep it simple. No flashy buttons, or glitter, or exploding pictures. I want my page to be a representation of my personality, simple but beautiful. Last year the look and even the description of my page was sooooo overly dramatic. That shadow picture of me, the dark black and blue colors, the title. All of those things did represent how I was feeling. A little uncertain of how to let people see the light side of me. It has always been easier for me to cast off the dark and moody side of me that often repels people from getting to know the real me. The ones that do decide to stay and dig through the hard external dark shell are rewarded with the sunshine of my real self. I wish I could be that way all the time. But the years of building up my dark and moody shell have taken their toll on me. I fear I no longer know how to present the light side of me. This new look of my blog is where I start to try to give the light side of me a chance to shine thru and control the dark side. I want to start to appreciate myself more, and welcome people in. I have to learn that not everyone will abuse my trust.

Welcome the new SJB page, hope you enjoy.

Sour Notes: My Least Favorite Albums in 08'

I AM...Full of Myself, should have been the name of this album. I love B', but I was bored with disc one, and confused with disc 2. I listened to the entire album twice and couldn't find anything I wanted to put on my Ipod. Come back harder B.



Note to Chris Brown, Ne-Yo, Trey Songz, Lyfe Jennings, Lloyd, Omarion, Marques Houston, Bobby Valentino, Justin Timberlake, J.Holiday, and all other R&B/ Pop kings.... DO NOT GET MARRIED, IT KILLS CAREERS.



Okay, maybe I am a "hater", but does this man really add anything to the musical landscape? Don't get me wrong the boy got some jams that I really like. But after appearing on 16 billion songs it was bound to happen I would like 1 or 2 of them. This profanity laced album doesn't really serve any purpose except to prove that AUTOTUNE is rapidly making the talentless seem like musical geniuses. Speaking of autotune...



WTF Kanye. Know I am all for changing directions, and after "Graduation" it was apparent that he needed to do something very different. I love the first half of this album. "Amazing" ft. Young Jeezy is just that., and "Say You Will" has been on constant rotation on my Ipod., but from track 7 on , this album lost me and never regained my interest. Although I hate autotune, I loved the way he uses it as an expression of his pain. It's real deep, but overall I must say I'm not a total fan of this album. Maybe in time that will change.



Okay, we all knew Badu was crazy, but this album proves that she is out of her damn mind. After a 5 year wait... that's right HALF A DECADE after the very well produced "Worldwide Underground" album, we get this... WHAT THE FUCK!!!



As a long time Joe fan this hurts me to my heart to say this, but this album straight up sucks. I LOVE Bryan Michael Cox as a producer. In fact I think he is one of the best ones alive, but even the best producers should only be used in moderation. The whole time I was listening to this album I was thinking to myself "God, Joe really needs to suck on some throat lozenges cause B. Cox is having him sounding terrible right now". Last year I told everybody that Joe's "Ain't Nothin Like Me" album was probably the most slept on album of 2007. My what a difference a year, a new record label, and an overused producer can make. I love you Joe, but this album is not hitting on nothing much at all. I love "We Need to Roll" but other than that this is an album that would have been a classic.... 15 years ago.



Remember how bad Eddie Murphy's album was? This album makes that look like "Thriller" in comparison. This is without a doubt the WORST ALBUM OF 2008. For a second I thought my alcoholic uncle with a speech disability somehow got a record deal and released an album. It should be noted that all the songs on this album are entirely written, produced, arranged, and mixed by Mr. Howard. and their is a reason for that. No self-respecting writer, producer, or sound engineer would ever come within 10 feet of this debacle. Avoid this album like the plague.



Note to Ms. Jackson: Filling more than 50% of your album with non-sensible skits does not work in today's Ipod World. Oh and by the way your oompa loompa you call your man single handily killed your career by being such a parasite that Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis no longer want to work with you. You without them is like your brother Mike with Quincy Jones, it simply does not make sense. Swallow your pride, get on your knees and beg them for forgiveness, because with your man JD you are 0 for 3.



This is by far the most overrated album of 2008. I am not a hater by any means. I actually like Lil Wayne' and I think he can rap. But this album saw anticipation we haven't seen since 50's first album, and to me was a HUGE letdown. I can name at least 5 Lil Wayne MIXTAPES that are better than this album. I felt the album lacked any real focus, and simply was a whole lot of nothing. I really like "Nothin On Me" and "Phone Home" because I thought they perfectly displayed Weezy's skill as an creative emcee. Songs like "Lollipop" and "A Milli" however were simply saved by the production. I'm not saying this was a terrible album, just a disappointing one.



One Song....One Song is all I can find on this album that I can say I like. I thought TIP was going to come out with something deep to say after all his legal trouble. I thought I was finally going to hear that T.I from the "I'm Serious" album return. But instead what I got was his worst album to date... even beating out the horrible T.I. vs T.I.P. album.



I will cut JHud some slack because of the tragedy see has had to endure this year. All I will say is that the only thing I didn't like about this album was the direction, and production. JHud's voice deserves better. Shame on you Clive Davis for trying to make her into something she's not.



Is it possible to be literally bored to death? If so then Ne-Yo is a murderer, because I was so bored with this album I nearly fell asleep on the highway while listening to it. The album starts off strong with songs like "Closer" and " Single", but soon take a noise dive into the incredibly boring pool and never comes up for air. I really enjoyed the song "So You Can Cry", and as always his song writing skills are unmatched. The problem is Ne-Yo's voice and the production. Ne-Yo at this point isn't even trying to pretend he's not channeling the great Michael Jackson with his voice and harmony arrangement. This has always been my peave with him, and this album is the worst example of that. If you need something to help you get to sleep I strongly recommend this album. It's more potent than an Ambien pill.



Okay to be fair I like this album, but I am still comparing everything he has done to that amazing debut album he released 4 years ago. It's not fair, but dammit after a album like that I expect more. I can't really find anything bad to say though. The production has great variety this time around, and seems like he is okay with not having to depend on the piano to make a great song. He even has a track by Teddy Riley that sounds great. But as I said before the first album was so great that I have no choice but to compare, and this simply doesn't.



Remember how shockingly good the Mimi album turned out? Remember how you thought to yourself "MC is back bitches!" ? Remember hearing "Touch My Body" and thinking her album was going to be the bomb? Well we were right, it is the bomb. A BIG HUGE BOMB, and not the good kind. What the hell happened this time around? I mean the album has no signature MC jams on it. Not even her savior Jermaine Dupri came through with those patented made for radio songs like he did on the last album. To say I was let down would be an understatement. 2008 was their the Queens (Janet, Beyonce, Mariah) let me down. Speaking of which...



The promise huh? Well if the promise was that you would make another classic like the "One Wish" album you made a decade ago then you have come up short...literally. 10 tracks are you kidding me? Don't get me wrong the album is good, but 10 tracks?! This is not the 80's girl. We demand at least 13 songs on an album in the Ipod World of today. To make up for this all you need to do is release 3 FREE tracks to anyone who bought the album, and you would be back in my good graces.



Okay, maybe I am just not hearing it, but what is so great about this girl? My friends were building her up like she was the second coming of Jill Scott, so I picked up the album... FLAT! I mean I guess she has potential, but on this effort I can't give her my seal of approval.



Yes I know I already mentioned this album. But it is so bad that I simply must tell you again. I have heard Congressional speeches that are better than this album. I have heard better singing from sick cats than I heard on this album. It is so bad that it must be heard. Go get this album!

Worst of the Evils: Vol.3

Situation 1

You are in a relationship that at first is hot and heavy. You are sexually and emotionally fulfilled and as far as you can tell things are going smoothly, but as time goes on you notice your partner no longer seems all that interested in the sexual side of your relationship. You talk to them about this, and you communicate your concerns, and your frustration with the lack of sex. Your partners responds in a nut shell is " I'm just not feeling nowadays". A week goes by, then a month, then several months without sex, at most you get is mutual masturbation. You feel you have reached your breaking point. Emotionally you still feel strongly for the person.
What do you do?

A) I feel this situation justifies me getting some on the side
B) I feel this situation will cause me to break up with my partner.
C) I feel I need to have another talk with my partner to tell them how I am feeling.
D) Just continue to wait until your partner is feeling sexual again, if it happens it happens, if not...

Situation 2

You are in a relationship that at first is hot and heavy. You are sexually and emotionally fulfilled and as far as you can tell things are going smoothly. As time goes on you notice your partner no longer seems all that interested in the sexual side of your relationship. You talk to them about this, and you communicate your concerns, and your frustration with the lack of sex. Your partners responds in a nut shell is " I'm just not feeling nowadays". A week goes by, then a month, then several months without sex, at most you get is mutual masturbation. You feel you have reached your breaking point. One night you finally breakdown and decide to hop online in search of "companionship". You start chatting with a potential piece for the night and before long y'all decide to hook up. You arrange to meet at The W hotel in room 112 at midnight. They said they will answer the door naked. You get to the room and when they open the door your are shocked to discover the person you been chatting with is your partner. The same partner that has been holding out on sex with you.
What do you do?

A) Since This is such a complicated situation that I want you (the reader) to tell me in your words what would you do. *By the way all these situations I write are based on true scenarios*

Situation 3

You are in a relationship that at first is hot and heavy. You are sexually and emotionally fulfilled and as far as you can tell things are going smoothly. As time goes on your partner notices you are no longer all that interested in the sexual side of your relationship. They talk to you about this, and they communicate their concerns, and their frustration with the lack of sex. Your response in a nut shell is " I'm just not feeling it nowadays". A week goes by, then a month, then several months without sex, at most you do is mutual masturbation. Your partner feels they have reached their breaking point. They love, and would never do anything to hurt you, but they feel if you are not willing to satisfy the sexual part of the relationship then they (by default) should be able to have something going on on the side. They discuss this with you...
What do you do?

A) Since This is such a complicated situation that I want you (the reader) to tell me in your words what would you do. *By the way all these situations I write are based on true scenarios*

Situation 4

You are in a relationship with the man of your dreams. You are emotionally fulfilled and as far as you can tell things are going smoothly except for one issue... both of y'all are TOPS. At first this wasn't an issue. You guys found ways of having great sex without the need for penetration. As time goes on though these things no longer fill the sexual appetite of either you or your partner. This soon causes frustration within the relationship and it feels as if it's only a matter of time before one of you decide to end the relationship. Your partner sits you down for a talk, and tells you he has come up with a solution to y'all problem. He thinks that since the only major issue with the relationship is the fact neither of y'all get fucked that the simple solution is to bring a full-time bottom within the relationship so y'all can continue to be "emotionally stable", but still be able to get some ass when it's needed.
What do you do?

A) Negro! Have you lost your damn mind?! Hell naw.
B) That's actually a good idea, and I am willing to do it for the sake of our relationship.
C) I am okay with that, but just a 3rd for sex, not to be an actual life partner of ours.
D) If we truly loved each other we wouldn't have to bring in a 3rd party. We would be willing to at least make an effort to be penetrated because we want to make each happy.

Late Addition: Best Albums of 2008

My boi is back with his OFFICIAL third studio album. After the head scratchier that was Southern Comfort, I am happy to announce that this is a TRUE Anthony Hamilton album. It doesn't come out until December 16th, but I got my hands on a copy last night and I must say it is a good album much like Aint Nobody Worryin was. Check it out.

Happy Birthday To Me

THEN... at 1

NOW !!! at 28